Hells Apostrophes

Hells Angels are suing Disney over a film that hasn’t even been made yet:
‘Wild Hogs is described as a story about a group of budding motorcyclists who set out on a road trip where they encounter a chapter of the Hells Angels.
The film, which features John Travolta and Tim Allen, is scheduled to begin filming later this year.’
And the Angels are not having it. What a hoo-ha. ‘But!’ Said the bored pedant as he scanned the news this morning. ‘Lurking behind this tense burgeoning courtroom drama is the overlooked issue of the curious incident of the missing apostrophe.’

Or so I thought!

A quick trip to the Hells Angels website revealed this in their FAQ:
‘Shouldn’t the Hells in Hells Angels have an apostrophe, and be Hell’s Angels? That would be true if there was only one Hell, but life & history has taught us that there are many versions and forms of Hell.’

10 out of 10 for effort, but - leaving aside the eschatological implications - this just further muddies matters grammatically. Even if there is a plurality of Hells, there’s still an apostrophe missing. Surely it should thusly be Hells’ Angels? In fact, if you follow the grammar nazi on Word, it should in fact, in fact be Hells’s Angels.

[Sidebar - The rogue ‘apostrophe-s’ of doom! Seriously, it’s pointless. St James’s Park – St Thomas’ Hospital (metrocentric conflict example). If your surname ends in ‘s’, doubly stupid. Imagine if the name was Ms Businesses, and you were writing about her businesses… Bah! Anyway…]

Hells’s Angels it is, then. Look, they started it by getting into non-bikery shit like suing cartoon and tie-in tat product magnates. They should be a bit more willing to realise the marketing potential here. The merchandise ramifications of an Angels/Disney tie-in are limitless. Hells’s Angels’s Website also suggests that if you buy Hells Angels merch, ‘Your purchases show you support the club’s philosophy of being free.’ Heh! Free purchases... With your chicken nuggets: a Sonny Barger with movable arms and pool cue accessory… Meredith Hunter/Alan Passaro characters in Tekken 6… The Walt Disney’s Wild Hogs’s Official Hells’s Angels’s Little Scientists’s Amphetamine Sulphate Production Kit…

Only kidding, obviously. The vast majority of Hells’s Angels are law-abiding citizens. Hence their sudden interest in litigation. Angels – now its time to clean up your punctuation.