Postfacto Sexualis!

Billionaire writer J.K. Rowling has revealed that Professor Dumbledore, the sorcerer principal of the Harry Potter saga, was gay.

In a curious Moebius strip trail of self-congratulation, the usual suspects [Peter Tatchell, for example] emerged during the week to applaud this retro-active character development. Growling gushed to fans: "I would have told you earlier if I knew it would make you so happy."

For the love of God. I would have told you earlier if I'd thought of it. Perhaps she was trying to avoid a slew of tabloid headlines [The Sun: HARRY BOTTER]. Tis well known in tabloid land that GAY TEACHERS PREY ON CHILDREN, fact. 

Outing Dumbledore after the series has finished achieves precisely nothing, as the somewhat dry quote from an unnamed Stonewall source ["It's great that JK has said this. It shows that there's no limit to what gay and lesbian people can do, even being a wizard headmaster."] illustrates.

If she was that committed to affirmative action, maybe she'd have had Harry and the ginger one share a bed. Imagine, 'Brokewand Mountain.' 'I wish I knew how to expeliarmus you.' etc etc

THAT would have been great. Not 'a character I killed off in the sixth book without hitherto revealing his sexuality was also casting spells for the other side, incidentally.' Bah!