Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Water lot of nonsense!

The last thing I wrote about was the targeted adverts from Googlemail, referring to the stupidly specific items available for people with too much money and a love of the gadget. I got another one this morning, prompted, I presume, by a Scottish pal's subject line 'A wee visit', meaning a visit of small yet perfectly formed size. Astonishingly literalist computer software thought I might be interested in this product, the Shewee, which, like the Teatool(TM), is so stupid that I suspect there is actually an office full of people dedicated to thinking this rubbish up and then emailing me about it to keep me occupied.

But look, here's a photo!
This is actually and metaphorically taking the piss.

What was even funnier was the other link connected with the same email that has a bunch of testimonial comments on it. I stand aghast that there are, apparently, people who have parted with five pounds for a micturative funnel. They are surely, surely all made-up or comedy responses, though - the claim by "Joe Bloggs" to have need of recourse to the Shewee since "loosing my penis in a motor cycle accident" (that'll teach you, Joe, you Ballardian pervert, you), for example.

I wait with bated breath to see what fresh hideous novelties are marked for my attention.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Up against the wall #323,237

The decline of what we laughing til we sobbingly call Western civilisation continues unchecked as a Google spyware sidebar commercial link informs me that I am now able to purchase a 'Teatool (TM)'.

The inventor, Dr Martin Almond [at which point the whole concept began to seem like an elaborate hoax perpetrated specifically to wind me up] expects to receive £5.45 for each 'Teatool (TM)'. That's five British pounds and forty five British pence.

"So over one hundred years after the introduction of the teabag in 1904 a practical device for handling them has just become available!"

This device doesn't even have an attachment for adding sugar. I checked. Teaspoons, for the sweet, enduring love of God, TEASPOONS.

I give up, once again. It is Lent.