Pedalphilia

You may have seen/heard the one about the bloke caught apparently humping his bike by now...

Avoiding the obvious jokes about what passes for entertainment in Ayrshire - be it the hapless frotterer himself or the cleaners with nothing better to do than barge in on paying guests and then shop them for doing weird stuff in the privacy of their own room - readers of this or my other blog might know that 'two wheels good, four wheels not so good' is one of my mantras, and of course I've always agreed with Freddie Mercury on the splendours of the bicycle ['BI-cycle BI-cycle'... nudge, nudge, Fred, I got yer]... but in terms of actually wanting to 'ride my bicycle'?

"You've taken that too far."